Quitter.

Well I made it a full week without smoking...
and then I went f r e a k i n g crazy.


I bought a pack.


I smoked it.


and I enjoyed every flippin' drag.


STOP!


This does NOT mean that I am quitting being a quitter. 


It merely means I relapsed.


...at this point I am trying to cut down. When I say cut down...I mean drastically...like a pack a week...and hopefully none at all.


I was doing great until tonight! What is with Friday anyways. Friday! Hang your head in devilish shame.


On a more positive note...I've started drinking green tea. Will this put me in the same group of people that order diet cokes with their big macs?


What is Agave Nectar anyways? I hear it is concentrated high fructose corn syrup.


Did you know that high fructose corn syrup tricks your body into thinking that it needs to store fat for the winter? True story...so I heard.


Stupid high fructose corn syrup! I shake my fist towards the heavens at you! How you mock me with your deliciousness! I have enough fat for the winter and ten winters from now. WHY DO YOU FORSAKE ME!?!


It's 2 in the am. I feel I maybe irrationally rambling. It's in my genes...jeans? ha.

Day of 3.

Back to the NON-smoking business. It has now been 36 hours...or a tad less. 

I think the back stabbing moment of my life in the last three days was when I had a friend stop by work and 

ask me if I would like to smoke...(unsuspecting of my resolution) and after bravely declining finding a 1/2 pack in my coat pocket. 

Well HOLY SMOKES how did that get there?!

The other knifer was when my husband (who is also trying to quit - yet had ONE cigarette today-I'm not judging but I'm feeling slightly cheated-is all I'm saying) asked where some random butt came from..(how funny does that sound?!?)

My thoughts: If you honestly think that I smoked today, what is the point of not smoking now?

Okay, really? 

LADY. GET. A. GRIP.

24 hours.

I have managed to make it 24 hours (PLUS) without smoking.

This is a magnificent feat.

I have to admit the first 23 hours were easy peasey.

That last hour.

It was KILLERRRRRRR.

Now to make it to 48 hours.

(and did you know that nicotine is as addictive as heroin?)

Think about that the next time you possibly try lecturing a smoker on quitting.

We never ask you to quit eating fast food. Or Starbucks, or whatever bad habits you've

accrued over your lifetime. Could you give those up? How hard would it be?